View duck
The Alien Race Theory
A malevolent alien race disguised as unintimidating birds. In it’s youthful form of ‘duckling’ the duck is often described as ‘cute’ and ‘fluffy’. The disguise is to lull inhabitants of planet earth in to a false sense of security and ensure that ducks gain entry into human households as pets.
The duck race are primarily known for their stalking antics. To a lesser extent ducks are known for their habit of quacking down chimneys for days on end to brain wash unsuspecting humans (the quacking changes the molecular structure of the human brain when quacked in a coded sequence and over a period of time).
Special forces within the government have been assigned to study the duck race and issue special alerts to the population when the ducks attempt acts of terrosism. To date, low to medium level alerts have been issued. As yet there has been no need to issue the high level puce alert.
Ducks In Politics
One of the more recent instances of ducks in politics occurred in Australia, after scandal erupted when it was discovered that then Australian Prime Minister John Howard had knowledge that the Attorney General, Philip Ruddock, was, in fact, a duck named Philip Rude Duck, who had been masquerading as a human for nearly 40 years.
As is the case with nearly all political scandals, which often only come to light following some unlikely or unpredictable event, Australian Prime Minister John Howard was forced from office when it was discovered that he not only knew of Attorney General Philip Ruddock’s participation in the scandalous, Bakerina jam theft, but that he also had prior knowledge that the Attorney General was, in fact, a duck, and had assumed the alias “Philip Ruddock” (undisclosed sources have revealed that prior to 1973, Ruddock was known as Philip Rude Duck) so that he might participate in the general election, his unblinking duck eye, at that time, focused intently on serving on the Migration Regulations Committee, which he successful did from June of 1989 through August of 1993; as to why a duck who had risen to such a powerful government position would involve himself in the theft of a few jars of jam, it was Ruddock himself who said it best when he told reporters, “Have you tasted the jam?”
Miscellaneous Duck Information
“Duck” is also a word similar to the phrase “think fast,” which is shouted by older brothers just after they have flung a half-dry cow patty your direction. Whether or not the ducks put this idea in the older brothers’ heads is subject to debate.
Other Bothersome Animals
Other animals known to have either bothersome (dangerous) or sneaky tendencies:
bears
Drop Bears
Category List
Category:Alien Races
Category:Animals
Category:Terrorism
Category:Bird
Category:Sibling Rivalry
Category:Australia
Category:Politics
Category:Government