if you have two kids and decide to take them to the beach on a 95 degree afternoon (with 90% malevolent purposes, ‘i bet this’ll wear em out...’) this math will equal a lot of shady characters and sideshow circuses in the course of an hour and a half.  sure, your heels will be soft, your toenails debrided and perfect for the sandals you just happen to have with you; but in the end you’ll get the same result as the toe touching promise i’ve warned you about. 

and after all this that you are unwilling exposed to, these black socks, and thongs on 4 year old’s to 400 pounders to men with badly placed and explicit tattoos carrying fishing poles, you will have to make the trip back to your car withou you or said children being side swiped by stiff necked tourists speeding down the straightest and most deserted road in town.  you will laugh to yourself, knowing what they don’t, about the speed trap up ahead, and then slide down your window to wave them goodbye as you pass them on the side of the road.  a little local vengeance goes a long way.