Some Scriners are of the opinion that Keith does not sleep. Ever.
Given a few beers and subjected to Ash Grunwald Keith may develop the urge to talk dolphin.
Keith is the subject of an honorific interpretive modern dance (tentatively titled “Keith of Keiths") currently in the process of being choreographed by Bakerina.
Keith is renowned for his prowess with the banjo.
Able to write over 50,000 words in one month.
Historical fact: Keith worked his way through college wearing a clip-on bow tie.
It’s true. Keith wore a clip on bow tie for many years during his long stint as a hotel room service waiter back in the 1980’s. Wearing the clip on bow tie, Keith was given the opportunity to rub elbows with the rich and famous, the beautiful and powerful, as well as the strange and twisted people often hidden from the rest of the world.
The clip on bow tie is perhaps one of the least understood magical devices left in this world, and is capable of incredible magic when properly wielded. The clip on bow tie is perhaps best known for giving the fortunate wearer the power of tap dance.
True story: This one time, Keith showed up at my door with a surfboard and was like, “Dude, let’s surf!”
“But Keith,” I said, “I live in Nebraska. There’s no ocean in Nebraska. I’m sorry.”
With a Keithish glint in his eye he smiled and said, “I stopped on the way over and made one. With my bare hands.”
It was true! And from then on, Nebraska led the nation in producing champion surfers and beach fashions alike.
Keith Revealed
Despite his claims to the contrary, Keith is, in actuality, a selkie. He is able to transform to human form by shedding his seal skin and can revert to seal form by putting his selkie skin back on. Stories concerning Keith are generally romantic tragedies.
Keith Confusion
Other Keith is a real person. Imaginary Keith is a real person. Keith (who seems to have taken over lately) is an imaginary alter ego of Imaginary Keith. Henry sometimes is an alter-alter ego of Imaginary Keith’s Keith. Bob is somehow related. Any of them will let you buy them a beer.
Category:Scriner
Category:Great Liars
Category:Myth & Legend
Other writings by Qaneh the Hermit:
The Dry Eye of God
Soft Soul Adrift
Facedown Amongst The Clouds
Category:Religion
Category:Ancient Writings
Category:Poetry
Category:Myth & Legend
Category:Great Liars
see also: Azazel
Other writings by Qaneh the Hermit:
The Dry Eye of God
Soft Soul Adrift
Rust Before The Rain
Category:Religion
Category:Metaphysical
Category:Ancient Writings
[TOC]
The Dry Eye of God
Facedown Amongst The Clouds
Rust Before The Rain
Category:Religion
Category:Metaphysical
Category:Ancient Writings
see also: Azazel
Other writings by Qaneh the Hermit:
Soft Soul Adrift
Facedown Amongst The Clouds
Rust Before The Rain
Category:Religion
Category:Metaphysical
Category:Ancient Writings
qaneh is one of the many Hebrew words for “reed” dating back to Biblical times.
Qaneh the Hermit is known to have been fluent in Language of the Birds.
Some writings believed to be Qaneh the Hermit’s that survive to this day include:
The Dry Eye of God
Soft Soul Adrift
Facedown Amongst The Clouds
Rust Before The Rain
The story of Azazel has been edited out of every known rendition and translation of the Bible, as well as from nearly every scroll or book dating back before the year 1525. It is thought, however, that his remarkable story did appear on the first page of the Book of Ballymote, written in 1390 or 1391. This page, however, was torn from the book at some point, and was assumed lost forever by most historians until rumor spread that a single page had been discovered in 1979 that contained the story of a floating man who survived the flood by repeating a sacred prayer. The page, the rumor held, had been found by Bar Ilan archaeologist Gabriel Barkay in a cave at Ketef Hinnom near Jerusalem, along with three, rare scrolls that dated back some 300-400 years before the time of the Dead Sea Scrolls.
It is suggested that the scrolls, which would have been worn around the neck as amulets and contain the earliest known quotes of Biblical verses, might have been worn by Azazel as he floated. One verse on the scrolls, because of its reference to the Lord’s face shining down upon the recipient’s face, is thought by some to possibly be the verse that Azazel would have repeatedly offered to God to help him with this miraculously long and tiring back float:
“May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord cause his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; may the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and grant you peace.”
Little is known of Azazel’s history following the flood. It is thought that he must have reconciled with Noah, who had attempted on many occasions to sink him while he floated by poking at him with a long shepherd’s staff. It has been suggested by some that Azazel was able to back float for an entire year because of his undying love for Noah’s wife, and that this would explain Noah’s insistence on trying to sink Azazel. Some stories say that as the waters receded, and as Noah was releasing the animals, Noah’s wife stood on the deck watching for Azazel, but that when he finally floated up to shore and approached, she was repulsed by how wrinkly he had become after spending an entire year in the water, and turned away. Some stories go on to say that Azazel died instantly at that very moment, while others say that he moved far from water, escaping high into the mountains where he became known as Qaneh the Hermit, living for many hundreds of years meditating, learning the Language of the Birds, and composing several books and metaphysical prayer guides, including The Dry Eye of God, Soft Soul Adrift, Facedown Amongst The Clouds, and Rust Before The Rain, a collection of poems thought to contain the secrets of love as they were revealed to Azazel by God through the pointed staff of Noah.
Category:Myth & Legend
Category:Fictional Adventures
Category:Religion
Wanted
Young, skinny, wiry imaginations not afraid to lie. Must be expert storytellers, willing to risk death daily. Orphans preferred.
The Job
Redefining history through the eyes of Scrine involves complex lying and subterfuge, and is not recommended for the faint of heart.
Doing Your Part
Becoming a Scrine Wiki contributor and historian is more than just a fun job, but may very well end up being one of the most important things you ever do with your life. On the surface this may sound sad and pathetic, but when you consider, say, the time and energy wasted on ordering complicated coffee drinks, picking out new shoes, combing hair that will become mussed in no time at all, and just about every other mundane daily thing you might possibly think of, I think you’ll begin to see the incredible opportunity being handed to you here. What? You say you lack the necessary coding skills to pull this off? No problem. Here’s some help to get you started.
Getting Started
One good way to acquaint yourself with the world of Scrine is by either visiting Scrine or browsing the wiki itself. Click the Random Page button to the right and your adventure begins.
Most Importantly
The Scrine Wiki is all about having fun. If you’re not having fun, then you’re probably in the wrong place. Or maybe you’re just having a bad day. Take a nap and try again tomorrow.
Scrabulous is generally well-regarded by Scriners who like the social nature of the game as well as its outlet for outlandish competitiveness. The email function http://www.scrabulous.com/email_index.php enables Scriners in different time zones to play together. Single games have been known to go on for a week or more (although this is not the fault of the Australians). (Edit: Yes it is!)
Warning: Highly addictive. May lead to compulsively checking one’s email account for updates. The official dictionary has been known to give players apoplectic* fits.
*see hissy
Edit: See also, “aargh, aarrgh, aarrghh” which is the noise ‘mouse makes when having aforementioned fit.
]]>