The Unabridged Scrine

Scrine : The Old Age Report

2008-12-02T05:31:00-06:00

Old age struck quickly and without warning, and just as if it had never existed at all, the secret number vanished from within Keith’s head.

Scrine : red, red skies

2008-12-02T04:30:01-06:00

“KAPOW!” went the fireworks, and “WHOOSH!” went the flying platypus, the pigtails of the young girl rider flapping insanely behind her head, as if they were dancing in time to her laughter.

The Confessional : confess-page-17Nov2008

2008-12-02T00:21:00-06:00

He’s a complete and total ass, but to play house with him again for just a few shorts hours was better than any Christmas gift he could ever give me.

The Confessional : confess-page-17Nov2008

2008-12-02T00:20:00-06:00

I said I was employed, I never said it was gainful.

Scrine : Smells like ‘Sir

2008-12-01T23:10:00-06:00

“This is clearly the work of the serial turkey violator known to his victims as You Can Call me Sir,” said Captain Jack, noting the unmistakable scent of onions, apples and cinnamon around the crime scene.

The Confessional : confess-page-17Nov2008

2008-12-01T22:21:00-06:00

I’ll never understand how a gainfully employed citizen can vote Democrat.

Scrine : Giving the gift of the inexplicable

2008-12-01T19:43:00-06:00

Looking back at my last two posts, I am seized with a sudden urge to give every family member a Scrine bag this Christmas.

Scrine : Noel fatigue

2008-12-01T19:41:00-06:00

After 44 Christmases, you’d think people would understand my deep desire to take the next one off.

Scrine : Obviously because they already know

2008-12-01T19:27:00-06:00

I’ve carried my Scrine bag for two years now, yet nobody has ever asked me what it means.

Scrine : Keith Dreams of Pop Culture & UFO Fanatics

2008-12-01T17:52:00-06:00

It came as no surprise to me to see Scrine’s first American pop culture reference (one brief, obscure joke in a movie that Scrinecast was somehow the preferred, secret communication device used by many UFO fanatics) would appear to me in my sleep.

Scrine : Unitarians

2008-12-01T17:07:00-06:00

Some people think life comes with a rule book, but many of us experience life as chaos and randomness, and find it somewhat freeing.

Scrine : $easons Greeting$

2008-12-01T14:10:00-06:00

Days like these, when HappyHoliday! attacks you with a vengeance, you just want to beat it back with all the force of early December, devoid of holidays, pushing it back into its little proper place.

Scrinetunes : AC-DC ~ Black Ice

2008-12-01T12:00:00-06:00

AC-DC - Black Ice

Scrinetunes : Nathan Bell ~ In Tune, On Time, Not Dead

2008-12-01T02:23:00-06:00

Nathan Bell - In Tune, On Time, Not Dead

The Confessional : confess-page-17Nov2008

2008-11-30T21:18:00-06:00

My house is filthy and I am wondering if it is worth it to clean up just so he can come over and screw me, literally and figuratively.

The Confessional : confess-page-17Nov2008

2008-11-30T20:30:00-06:00

I oftentimes wish that I had the backbone to just take the keys and walk out the front door in the middle of the night.

Scrine : Today

2008-11-30T20:19:01-06:00

Contrary to popular belief, the original lyrics to “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow” were “Tomorrow is just a today away,” but the producers wouldn’t have it, because they felt that it was much to pessimistic.

Scrine : Anatomy Lesson

2008-11-30T19:08:00-06:00

Joelly Fisher has great legs!

Scrine : Movies with Subtitles.

2008-11-30T19:02:00-06:00

I love this new DVD technology – no messing with the cable box trying to determine what goes where – just plug the yellow, white and red connectors into the front of your television and, voila, Amelie.

The Confessional : confess-page-17Nov2008

2008-11-30T12:48:00-06:00

It is 6:48 am and I cannot sleep.

Daily Comic : Niche Marketing

2008-11-29T11:18:00-06:00

Scrine : Bragging rights Part II

2008-11-29T08:36:00-06:00

I just hooked up my own DTV box and fixed my own internet.

Scrine : Thanksgiving traditions

2008-11-29T04:56:00-06:00

I *really* needed to make a dump run on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, but then I remembered the lesson of Alice’s restaurant and thought better of it, making four successfull dump runs on Friday which did not, thankfully, involve me landing in group W somewhere down the road.

The Confessional : confess-page-17Nov2008

2008-11-29T01:54:00-06:00

I have no idea what is keeping me from offing myself right now, but something is and always has been.

The Confessional : confess-page-17Nov2008

2008-11-28T21:45:00-06:00

Once a week in high school we liked to steal the “S” and the “RINSE” from the Try Our Spot Free Rinse sign at the car wash so that it would read “Try Our Pot Free,” but that’s not nearly as cool as “Anus Meats.”

Scrine : Visiting Day at the Rest Home for Post Modern Superheroes

2008-11-28T20:05:00-06:00

Captain Economic Freedom enjoyed sitting in his rocker, his cape and red boots drying by a toasty fire, as he regaled the younger Justice Leaguers with stories of his being the first truly post modern superhero, but the Dynamic Socialist Duo and the Red Anarchist always begged to differ with his egoistic self aggrandizing.

The Confessional : confess17Nov2008

2008-11-28T19:51:00-06:00

In high school we liked to steal the “G” off of the Angus Meats sign so that it would read “Anus Meats.”

Scrine : Justice Leaguers for the 21st Century

2008-11-28T19:47:01-06:00

The Hyper-Vigilante – guardian of those who suffer PTSD – travels about the country in overalls and a cape, and his utility belt fitted with a hammer and duct tape so he will be prepared to fix any situation that arises.

Scrine : attention, walmart shoppers…

2008-11-28T19:05:00-06:00

“A Wal-Mart employee in suburban New York died after being trampled by a crush of shoppers who tore down the front doors and thronged into the store early Friday morning, turning the annual rite of post-Thanksgiving bargain hunting into a ...”

Daily Comic : Pie Symbiosis

2008-11-28T16:36:00-06:00

The Confessional : confess17Nov2008

2008-11-28T15:57:00-06:00

I wish I could stab their eyes out with a hot poker.

Scrine : Miss Jane Discusses Zen

2008-11-28T11:46:01-06:00

“Why, yes, certainly, at times like this I could just stay calm and put it all in perspective,” said Miss Jane as she looked beatifically upon the bloodied and mangled array, “however, I believe we all must follow our own particular path.”

The Confessional : confess-page-17Nov2008

2008-11-28T11:39:00-06:00

I love Christmas songs, even the ones about snow and cold, when it is usually stinking hot on Christmas day.

The Confessional : confess-page-17Nov2008

2008-11-28T11:35:00-06:00

I thank God I only have Christmas to hate.

Scrine : I Can’t Eat One More Thing

2008-11-28T06:50:00-06:00

It was a solemn vow, carefully worded so as to not exclude pie.

The Confessional : confess-page-17Nov2008

2008-11-28T02:36:00-06:00

I don’t understand what is so great about the holidays…

Scrine : Turkey

2008-11-28T00:08:01-06:00

Whenever I think about Wilbur, I get mighty hungry for some ham.

Scrine : hello all

2008-11-27T22:07:01-06:00

Hi everyone!

The Confessional : confess17Nov2008

2008-11-27T18:54:00-06:00

I’m completely in love with a woman that’s too far away and much too old for me.

Daily Comic : Thanksgiving Safety

2008-11-27T17:51:00-06:00

Scrine : Gervis The Terrible Prankster

2008-11-27T15:51:00-06:00

Gervis was a terrible prankster--and by that I mean he didn’t pull terrible pranks, but that he was terrible at pulling them--like today at lunch, when he started to laugh because he thought he’d really gotten one over on us by switching the butter from regular to unsalted.

The Confessional : confess-page-17Nov2008

2008-11-27T15:39:00-06:00

I don’t know what I hate more: Christmas or Thanksgiving.

Scrine : for them that ain’t

2008-11-27T09:36:00-06:00

you can share mine.

The Confessional : confess-page-17Nov2008

2008-11-27T04:43:00-06:00

I recently hid in the closet for one and a half hours because they were playing hide ‘n go seek, but I’m not sure why I stayed even after they gave up.

Scrine : On Br. Ezra’s 1000th

2008-11-27T03:19:00-06:00

When Br. Ezra hit his one-thousandth post we could all tell that his enthusiasm could now be measured in plain old normal giveashits, but he was still a ways off from gigagivashits.

Scrine : bad music pickup #3

2008-11-27T02:45:00-06:00

“You’re the 7th and I’m 8th; baby, you resolve me.”

Scrine : amazing

2008-11-27T02:39:00-06:00

The United Nations has been around 60+ years and the only thing they’ve accomplished is a Christmas Card that doesn’t look *too* bad if you squint while viewing it.

Scrine : Bad music pickup #2

2008-11-27T02:29:00-06:00

“We can go fast if you want, because I’m not a retard.”

Scrine : Don’t let them fool you

2008-11-26T23:02:00-06:00

They may act like it, but dogs are not our li’l babies - they are alien lifeforms with inexplicable motives and soft, soft fur.

Scrine : Slippery slope

2008-11-26T22:57:01-06:00

One morning, young Carmen stopped believing in Santa Claus; in the mid-afternoon, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny had lost their cachet, and by dinner time Carmen was an avowed atheist, demanding to know if coffee would really stunt her growth.