As fodder for future therapy and/or years-later WTF-type conversations between your child and his/her future spouse, you must say the most outrageous thing you can imagine upon first meeting aforementioned future spouse; it should be either, a) heartbreakingly true, or b) 180-degrees from the truth but delivered as if by the Oracle.
TAGS: spouse, therapy, oracle
After years of therapy, I was finally able to admit that lying about owning a house giraffe was actually nothing more than a lifetime of pent up frustration regarding my mother’s embarrassingly long neck.
TAGS: giraffes, lies, embarrassment, therapyMy therapist thinks I worry too much about what people will think about Rufus and my friend Schuster, whom she claims are conjectures of my imagination and nothing more, but Rufus, on the other hand, thinks the doctor is kind of hot, and that she is playing a mind game on me to get him into bed; Schuster was visibly upset by the conversation and didn’t say a word, although he did admit to me later that as much as he wanted to believe Rufus was right, he was afraid the doctor presented a much stronger argument.
TAGS: Rufus & Schuster, seduction, therapy, conjecture, hidden agendas, surreal logicIt came as somewhat of a shock to learn that my therapy sessions with Dr. Sally (or was it Sarah, I could never quite remember), which I had assumed I had been attending three times a week for nearly a year, would no longer be required now that Rufus had discovered that the doctor was, in fact, nothing more than a product of his own imagination; my friend Schuster thought that while the whole business sounded a bit fishy, it certainly explained why the doctor had an eerie resemblance to Rufus’ mother.
TAGS: Rufus & Schuster, therapy, surreal logic