Running from the wild hobo, he knew he should never have skipped school; knew it the same way that he knew that kicking his boot out over the ice was a bad idea, and knew it just like he’d find out later when he finally made it home that he should take his time when it came to thinking up believable lies - too late.
TAGS: school, bad ideas, footwear, hobo, lies, hoboesTime was, if a young man walked me all the way from class to my car, in the spring rain, and he gradually shifted the conversation from the course of study to the way I make him feel slightly off-balance and mystified, that young man was looking for a kiss - and he’d usually get one.
TAGS: rain, school, romance, kissingNo little kid ever stood up in front of her Kindergarten class and announced that she would grow up to be a cubicle-dweller; what I’m trying to say is, at my age, I still need to reconcile my age-old ideal about the perfect job, to the image of the less-than-glamourous career I actually built for myself (and like).
TAGS: work, school, kindergarten“And now class, let’s give our special attention to Timmy’s father, who has been kind enough to come in today and talk to us about growing old, bald and fat.”
TAGS: aging, school, bald, timmy, fat“Did you hear about that car door slamming Little Timmy’s hand this weekend?” the instructor asked the school’s principal; “I hear that with his fingers all smashed, he’s slurring all his signing, and that the kids have taken to calling him Elmer Fudd.”
TAGS: auto, school, timmy, elmer fudd, little timmy…I would invite a certain hubris-ridden law school at a certain hubris-ridden public university in a certain hubris-ridden giant East-Coast city to bite my shiny metal ass; alas, since I am not, I cannot.
TAGS: school, robot, hubrisEverytime The Steves™ had a baby, Peter bought a new crock pot and set aside a little money, in case it went to college.
TAGS: baby, school, peter, college, money, crock pot, nicknamesSince ‘Indians’ was too culturally insensitive for a high school mascot, the school board voted unanimously to change their name to the Pawtucket Homosexual Nazi Midgets in an effort to intimidate, but not discriminate.
TAGS: school, intimidation, indians, homosexuality, discrimination, midgets, mascots, mascotI graduated summa cum laude from Hamburger University and have an advanced degree from Subway University, but I still can’t get a decent paying job.
TAGS: school, job search, higher eductation, hamburger university, summa cum laudeChester’s high school guidance counselor became concerned when the young man listed driving the spammobile as his top career choice.
TAGS: school, bologna, choice, byproducts, spam, cold cuts, lunch meat, pig byproductsWearing a pair of thin, tight-fitting blue jeans, the stork snuck into the school by blending in with a group of 8th grade girls, doing its best to mimic their awkward walk.
TAGS: animals, school, mimic, awkward, blue jeans, storkYesterday in math class the teacher said, “ok children lets start off with a few new math problems, ‘what’s five times two,’” and Clyde replied, “twelve” in a questioning voice, and the teacher contiued without missing a beat in a peppy voice, “Ok, now let’s try to get an answer from someone who’s not a complete retard!”
TAGS: school, math, American pop culture, retardCourses at my school always start with the entire history of the subject, making week one a millenium of information.
TAGS: school, information, millenniumOn the one hand, when you wake up at 5 a.m., you can see the sun rise over the mountains, and that is a glorious thing to see; on the other, you know that, come that afternoon civil procedure class, you’ll be hurting—and when the time comes to move the mattress out of storage, you will be a danger to yourself and others.
TAGS: school, morning, mountains, sunrise