(Edited to follow the one scrine rule)
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think that metaphorically speaking, love is a really big redwood splinter and pain is it jammed really deep up underneath your fingernail and broken off: You think “this should stop hurting soon, I’ll be okay,” but then it doesn’t and it just hurts worse and pretty soon you’re considering driving to downtown Oakland at 3am to look for heroin figuring that addiction and eventual withdrawal couldn’t been any worse than this fucking love, er, splinter.
Whenever she cried he rejoiced, knowing that he was the one who could make them go away.
TAGS: relationshipsAccording to my my recently acquired 1908 copy of I.C.S. Reference Library, Volume 132, Stone, Brick, Concrete Foundations, Culverts, Tunnels, and Dams: “The cost of constructing tunnels is comparatively so great, and the consequences of a blunder so far reaching, that an error in location is a very serious matter;” I can only imagine that 100 years ago, the word “location” must have somehow actually meant “judgement.”
TAGS: relationships, trains, tunnelsSometimes, when you’ve been together for eighteen years, you find yourself scrambling together, naked, from the closet or the bathroom counter or washing machine or the stairs to the comfort and convenience of the bed where everything reaches and everything fits and the angles are right and you don’t get cramps and you can finish confidently what you started awkwardly and then you can laugh about it.
TAGS: relationships, naked, convenience, comfortable, scramblingI regret to inform you that this relationship has become toxic for me, I am going to have to ask you to cease and desist.
TAGS: relationships, cease & desist, toxicWhen he asked, “why do you care?”, her only response was “Because I shouldn’t.”
TAGS: love, relationshipsWhen the pregnant wife of her cheating boyfriend spilled her guts to clear her conscience, she realized, he was not the amazing muse she once believed…Instead, he was merely a frightened, confused little child with a troubled past.
TAGS: relationships, conscience, infidelityWhen the crying girl wanted advice on how to throw out her boyfriend, the chief was empathetic, but made it perfectly clear that he was on no one’s side, and that her destiny rested upon her own shoulders, and not his; when the crying girl said, “It’s hard growing up,” the chief could have replied that it would get better in time, but had made a promise with himself not to lie to any of the tenants.
TAGS: crying, relationships, the chief, boyfriends, empathy, girlfriendsWhat is the most ridiculous reason you have ever broken up with someone?
TAGS: relationships, breakupsSince their decision to separate, the house had become a minefield of broken promises: everywhere Henry looked lay awkward reminders of the things they had planned to do together - holidays, pets, home improvements, and even, sickeningly, a dog-eared jewelry catalogue.
TAGS: Henry, relationships, promisesAs the room guffawed around him, Herbert came to the shocking realisation that he actually agreed with Housekeeping Monthly’s 1950 Good Wife’s Guide (and wondered if this didn’t have anything to do with his complete inability to charm anything even remotely female).
TAGS: relationships, charm, talismanFruit jars remind me of my simplicity, although there was a time when our relationship was much more complicated.
TAGS: time, complications, relationships, simplicity, fruit jarI would write something funny if I had any sense of humor whatsoever left; I just want to kick his teeth in, however.
TAGS: marriage, relationships, spiteShe washed all his white t-shirts with her new red pants.
TAGS: revenge, relationshipsI was on the verge of tears last night watching Seed of Chucky because I thought, “Christ even supernaturally possessed serial killing ugly dolls are able to form a loving relationship.”
TAGS: relationshipsA true mentor is one of those people who can only be realized as such years after success occurs; I now run away from anybody who tells me she wishes to be my mentor at the onset of our working relationship, because whether she’s aware of it or not, the seemingly generous offer is just a euphamism for ‘you’ll do my shit work and treat me like a queen.’
TAGS: work, mentor, relationships, success