Never trust Mother Nature to have your back in a bar fight.
TAGS: advice, nature, pna series, fighting, mother natureThe shampoo will run out, so short hair is best.
TAGS: advice, hair, nature, pna series, shampooSure you can kill a bear then gut it out and climb inside the body cavity to survive the extreme cold, and maybe then, after all that work and trouble, you’ll remember - never forget the tent!
TAGS: animals, bears, advice, nature, pna series, survival, tentWolves are one of nature’s most superstitious predators, and can be easily driven away with a flurry of energetic movements that wolves interpret as extremely unlucky; unfortunately for humans out enjoying nature who find themselves confronted by wolves, these “unlucky movements” have not yet been perfected, and flight is the best (although still highly unsuccessful) option.
TAGS: animals, advice, nature, pna series, predators, wolves, superstitionsNever wear a porkchop dress in the mountains.
TAGS: advice, nature, pna series
Sneaking up on an egret is always tough work, and it will take a diligent nature enthusiast many attempts before he has plucked enough feathers for a decent hat.
TAGS: animals, hats, advice, feathers, ridiculous encounters, nature, pna series, diligence, egretSkunks are like angry mother-in-laws and should always be given a wide berth.
TAGS: animals, advice, nature, pna series, mother-in-laws, skunksContrary to what you may have been told, the smell of money attracts mosquitoes.
TAGS: insects, advice, money, nature, pna series, mosquitoesKeep in mind that the morning chill is nature’s way of saying good morning.
TAGS: advice, nature, pna seriesDo everything you can to maintain the woodland silence, because only then will you be able to hear nature’s music.
TAGS: advice, quiet, nature, pna seriesIt may seem funny at the time, but never let stray raccoons play with the matches.
TAGS: animals, advice, raccoons, nature, pna series, matchesUnder advice of in-house counsel, Scrine has removed the word “stray” and certain other portions of the original “Raccoons & Matches” PNA series sentence, which now offically reads: Never let raccoons play with matches.
TAGS: animals, advice, raccoons, nature, pna seriesUnder further legal consideration, and due largely to the fact that tennis is played in matches and the fact that it is not PNA’s intention with this sentence to suggest that raccoons should in any manner be encouraged to take up tennis, which is not to say that raccoons could not, in fact, play tennis, nor should they in any manner be intimidated, discouraged, or prejudiced against when it comes to tennis, the “Raccoons & Matches” PNA sentence has been amended to read as follows: Always keep flammable materials away from raccoons.
TAGS: advice, raccoons, nature, pna series, tennisIt surprises many to find out that more campers are killed each year by falling trees than bear attacks, although if you take away the numbers for the trees that have fallen due to some sort of sabotage by an angry spouse, the numbers are about even.
TAGS: bears, advice, nature, pna series, falling trees, sabotageForget the compass, the survivalist’s best friend is the sharp stick.
TAGS: advice, nature, pna series, survival, compassWhen going on any extended hike, it is always a good idea to bring along an extra pair of hiking boots, in case you become lost for years and years and your first pair wear out; if carrying along an extra pair of boots is not practical, or you simply want to avoid the excess weight, you can always make sure you hike with a buddy who wears the same size boot as yourself, then simply take the necessary steps to assure that your hiking buddy has an “unfortunate accident” before his boots become too worn.
TAGS: advice, boots, murderous intentions, nature, pna seriesIf while on a nature hike with your newborn you make the mistake of setting your baby down amongst the moose calves, don’t panic, because finding your own baby is easy as long as you stay calm and remember that the musky scent of the moose calf is slightly stronger than that of the newborn human baby.
TAGS: baby, advice, moose, nature, scent, pna series, hike, panic, muskyRemember, when hiking, never shush a hormonal female, regardless of species.
TAGS: advice, pna series, hikingChoosing a good hiking companion is never easy, as consideration must be made regarding not only social compatibility, but survival skills as well; a hiking companion who happens to be a hired assassin, for instance, might lack certain verbal skills which make them a poor choice if you enjoy light banter on the trail or around the camp at night, yet could have invaluable skills with a garrote, should you become injured and require the application of a tourniquet.
TAGS: advice, pna series, garrote, assassins, tourniquet, survival skillsIf you find yourself overburdened with a secret while in the deep wilderness, keep in mind that the wolverine, while a great keeper of secrets, will fight your every attempt to whisper in its ear with savage ferociousness.
TAGS: secrets, pna series, wolverines