When the creditors started calling, Stuart simply told them that negative 50,000 was the new zero; “I think it’s some new-fangled government math,” he’d say, “and according to my figures, we’re flush.”
TAGS: math, government, stuartSurround one cubicle-dweller with one neighbor who has day-long noisy conference calls; one cubicle designated as the “visitor’s cubicle,” inhabited by an ever-changing sea of visitors who all need to know where the printer/copier/fax machines are; ambient noise from the cafeteria 12 feet away; ambient noise from the mailroom around the corner; ambient noise from the freight elevator across the hall from the mailroom; ambient noise from the circuit breakers and server banks in the core; 50 people in moods ranging from faux-jocular to enraged to so keen to talk to dweller that they will immediately begin a conversation without first ascertaining whether the dweller is on the phone or doing complicated math; and 17 different ringtones; shake well, apply liberally and serve with toast points.
TAGS: work, math, complicated, cafeteria, elevatorDue to a high propensity for divorce coupled with great enthusiasm for marriage among his relations, Henry had an astounding total of twelve grandmothers, all of whom, by a sad coincidence (but after many happy, healthy years!), passed away during the same semester—but try getting a math teacher to believe that!
TAGS: Henry, math, divorce, marriage, enthusiasm, coincidence, grandmother, teacher
Dr. Leo couldn’t believe he’d miscalculated the spin rate of his newly developed, personal bullet rocket, but Big Billy’s chaffed nipples clearly disproved the math.
TAGS: dr. leo, math, inventions, travel, nipples, Big Billy, rocket, chaffedYesterday in math class the teacher said, “ok children lets start off with a few new math problems, ‘what’s five times two,’” and Clyde replied, “twelve” in a questioning voice, and the teacher contiued without missing a beat in a peppy voice, “Ok, now let’s try to get an answer from someone who’s not a complete retard!”
TAGS: school, math, American pop culture, retardBear could only count to four (using all his paws) but 1,2, 3, 4 and “many” were all the numbers Bear needed.
TAGS: bears, little bear, mathMath made us good friends.
TAGS: math, friendshipHis stories never balanced.
TAGS: mathCaptain Boratio’s crew of hardworking mathematicians swabbed the decks with such vigor that the Lady Barrington would had floated off into the sky had the good captain not dropped anchor to remind the scurvy lot that the shortest distance between two points wasn’t a straight line, but a short, tangential walk down a simple little board known as the plank.
TAGS: mathThe Sine looked lustfully at his trusty Cosine and at that moment realized that what he felt went beyond The Lone Ranger and Tonto and had entered the realm of Batman and Robin.
TAGS: love, math, geometry, sidekick