My (now deceased) disabled husband and I were married for 43 years and loved each other very much, so you should have understood that when I filed for divorce and tried to get him summarily and forcibly removed from the family home of 40 years by falsely accusing him of dangerous homosexual phone sex and by making up false stories of physical violence against me, it was just my way of showing him love and trying to get him proper medical care; you should have represented his interests better—or at least gotten a bigger retainer before defending him from me.
TAGS: love, legal, divorce, marriage, homosexuality, dead, spouse, phone sexFive years after Roger’s arranged marriage to the deaf-mute girl from Bakersfield, his own lifelong dream came true when their one and only child, Chester, upon reaching the age of three, told his family to call him The Little Tramp, and announced that he would spend the rest of his years in complete silence, wearing only black oversized suits and imitating the antics of Charlie Chaplain; Roger, as much as he enjoyed the quiet, soon found that not all dreams should come true, and that as much as he loved his son, he would never be comfortable with the young boy’s new mustache.
TAGS: love, dreams, children, marriage, quiet, Bakersfield, charlie chaplain, deaf-mute, uncomfortable, mustachesI really should be in bed, but I wanted to share the glorious moment with you, on this, the night before my children vacate the house and go back to school (and, it should be known, that husband of mine, who while he has many excellent attributes including an entertaining holiday bantering style among friends, must be said to sometimes be, how do I put it? Always present in the house when he has time off…)
“How many times did I tell you, Abubakar, ‘Marry a strong girl, someone like Heqet - a strong back, baby-bearing hips that’d turn Ra’s head, and a good, steady job down at the canopic jar plant’ - but no, you couldn’t listen to your poor, old mother, not once, could you?”
TAGS: advice, Abubakar, marriage, raDue to a high propensity for divorce coupled with great enthusiasm for marriage among his relations, Henry had an astounding total of twelve grandmothers, all of whom, by a sad coincidence (but after many happy, healthy years!), passed away during the same semester—but try getting a math teacher to believe that!
TAGS: Henry, math, divorce, marriage, enthusiasm, coincidence, grandmother, teacher“Woman,” Henry told his wife, “you’re disrupting some important work in zero momentum time travel with that racket, now stop vacuuming and get away from my chair.”
TAGS: Henry, work, marriage, chair, wife, time travel, vacuum, momentumI would write something funny if I had any sense of humor whatsoever left; I just want to kick his teeth in, however.
TAGS: marriage, relationships, spiteIt always was a rather cheesy symbol, when it came down to it.
TAGS: marriage, gold, symbolism, rings
I have no idea if feminists still reject marriage as an oppressive male dominated institution but Susan is one feminist who I would marry and, were it biologically possible, I would have her babies!
TAGS: marriage, social institutions, susan faludi, feminismIn the personal diary that would one day be referred to as Death So Sweet - The Bundt Cake Murders of Helen Perkins, Mrs. Perkins wrote: “Murder is not so unlike marriage, in that both require immense patience and an understanding that there will be many times when an unsavory act must simply be tolerated for the greater good.”
TAGS: murder, marriage, tolerance, bundt cake, unsavory acts, Helen PerkinsIshamael McNab finished feeding his wife’s lifeless body through the wood chipper the exact moment the school bus dropped his daughter off at the end of their driveway.
TAGS: marriage, woodchippers, school busLike the White House china, Bob’s first marriage had been changed out in the 80s for something just as servicable, yet newer and almost imperceptibly more elegant.
TAGS: bob, marriage, 1980s, china, white house, elegant, imperceptible