John was surprised to learn that Heaven had only one duck, but even more surprised when the duck waddled over and introduced himself as God.
TAGS: ducks, afterlife, heaven, godIt is a little known fact that among the angels in heaven there is an ironclad hierarchy defined by your death—with death by falling piano the extreme top of the pecking order and death by banking complications establishing the other end of the spectrum
TAGS: afterlife, angels, complication, banking, heaven, piano, hierarchySchuster believed in Herman Heaven—the place he thought all the Hermans went to be happy after they died.
TAGS: schuster, death, heaven, herman, happyIf a preacher could honestly promise me that my local taco stand would exist in heaven, as it must in a just universe, I would turn my life around and follow a path of righteousness.
TAGS: heaven, taco, world's best tacosI fear that when the mother ship returns to transport all the good, deserving people of the world to heaven my passcode won’t work and I will be left floating outside for eternity.
TAGS: heaven, eternity, passcode, mothership