If you sound like a duck, you may also look like a duck, if you look like a duck some people may step away from you when you get too close due to their duck phobias.
TAGS: guest scriner, ducks, fear, antidaephobia, imaginary“You only signed up for housing in the spring, and must reapply.. good luck.”
TAGS: guest scriner, college life“This is a healthy exercise for anyone, but to do it in a public forum under the watchful eye of a metal bird is the ultimate in performance under pressure, I think (sometimes I have nightmares about that damn bird, but the terror is mercifully very brief and meaningful).”
TAGS: guest scriner, scrine addiction, watchful“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, then you must first invent the universe.”
TAGS: guest scriner, carl sagan, universe, apple pie“I hit him so hard I knocked the starch outta his shirt!”
TAGS: guest scriner, grandparentsHe had all my smurfs crammed into one room like a horrible smurf orgy on the farm gone wrong and now his vibrating bunny and the poison dart frog are going for a ride on a tractor.
TAGS: guest scriner, smurfs, minnie“10,000 children per day starve in Africa — so that was thoughtful of them to use their apparent power to command God…to lower gas prices for the richest people on earth.”
TAGS: guest scriner, prayer, starvation, petrolI just smile, once in awhile because I don’t want the lines on my face.
TAGS: guest scriner, smilingLife’s a bitch and I can’t control her.
TAGS: guest scriner, lifeDo I hear the ghost of Lehman Brothers (and nearly every other near-death company)… what’s it saying? I can almost hear it now…, yes, I hear it now, “Citigroup says has strong capital, liquidity position.”
TAGS: guest scriner, Bent Rule Club, sarcasm, economyInstead of having crusty old, grey suited, businessmen in bowler hats and half moon spectacles, who knew how to keep things uninterestingly stable, we got young upwardly mobile hot shots with sharp suits and Raybans—wise guys who could shoot shit up a drainpipe and blow smoke up your arse more stylishly than a Dagenham exhaust pipe.
TAGS: guest scriner, crusty
With bloody hands, I say goodbye.
TAGS: guest scriner, farewell, bloodyI remember the quick, nervous bird of your love.
TAGS: guest scriner, love, Billy Collins“Other one-liners in Philogelos may baffle a modern audience, such as a series of jokes about a lettuce, which only make sense in light of the ancient belief it was an aphrodisiac.”
TAGS: guest scriner, jokes, offsite link, lettuce, comedy, aphrodisiacs(Edited to follow the one scrine rule)
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think that metaphorically speaking, love is a really big redwood splinter and pain is it jammed really deep up underneath your fingernail and broken off: You think “this should stop hurting soon, I’ll be okay,” but then it doesn’t and it just hurts worse and pretty soon you’re considering driving to downtown Oakland at 3am to look for heroin figuring that addiction and eventual withdrawal couldn’t been any worse than this fucking love, er, splinter.
Sally, having swallowed cheese
Directs down holes the scented breeze
Enticing thus with baited breath
Nice mice to an untimely death.
(Am i the only person)Who, whenever she hears the term “Lame Duck”, imagines Bush on crutches, in a Donald Duck outfit, wounded by a manically quacking Dick Cheney on a hunting trip?
TAGS: guest scriner, lame duck“President Chicago Coliseum Club Chgo Entirely too busy training for my coming Tunney match to waste time on insurance representatives stop as you have no contract suggest you stop kidding yourself and me also”
TAGS: guest scriner“When that regulatory captain of the football team tries to get you liquored up on leverage and to strip down your capital in the backseat of his car while his buddies Shareholder and Homeowner watch, you tell him you’re not that kind of quasi-governmental institution.”
TAGS: guest scriner, offsite linkInvention is the necessity of mothers.
TAGS: guest scriner, sayings