“Fear the ruse,” Henry would whisper each night into his wife’s ear while she slept, trying hard to ignore their dog’s cold stare.
TAGS: henry, dogs, ruse, subliminal suggestionBecause they have paws rather than hands, I’ve found that dogs (at least mine) actually prefer shooting craps to playing cards, which even includes Pinochle, I was surprised to find out.
TAGS: animals, dogs, hands, gambling, pinochle, pawsBlaze let out one quick bark and assumed a point position every time he saw the scrinebird appear on his master’s computer.
TAGS: dogs, computerTwo years had passed since that old Baptist hound had took off looking for sinners, but suddenly there he was, staring through the screen door at me like he’d just spotted his first one.
TAGS: dogs, baptist hound, baptists, sinnersIf you feel your dog is watching too much daytime television, feel free to take him to your afternoon IRS meeting, but under no circumstances should you allow the dog to hump the agent since any pups she might later have would be nearly impossible to give away.
TAGS: dogs, televisionAfter Jeremiah had asked why he showed up all the time, Gerry just smiled and mumbled through his bread: “I’m like a lost puppy; I always come back and when you scare me I piddle on the carpet.”
TAGS: dogs“A single dog sneeze contains nearly 10 million boredom spores,” Dr. Leo informed the first year veternarian students, “and that’s why, more than any other reason, he remains man’s best friend.”
TAGS: dogs, dr. leo, boredom, sporesMy rules regarding giraffes in the house are simple: no running except in the hall, no kicking at the dog, no peering around doorways, and necks down in the dining room to avoid the chandelier.
TAGS: dogs, giraffes, anihumorianism, anthropomorphism, chandeliersIt should come as no surprise that dogs often find it extra hard to accept Jesus as their personal savior while attending Cat Church.
TAGS: dogs, jesus, cat church
One of the many differences between my dog and John Lennon is that my dog says he would never hump Yoko’s leg.
TAGS: dogs, john lennon, yoko ono, humping“Yes, it’s good you’ve learned your Latin roots,” I told the dog, “but we still need to work on your diction.”
TAGS: animals, dogs, college, latinMy dog says he’s my best friend, but I’m not sure I trust him; for instance, not once has he offered to show me the pictures in his wallet.
TAGS: dogs, trust, walletFender’s dogs never missed him when he was away, but they did remember him with fondness whenever he reappeared.
TAGS: dogs, fender