The thing about disappearing for ten years is: when you return it’s not so much that you are older, but that everyone else around suddenly seems to have a decade less mileage than you while you have no photos of your travels, and you’re unsure now where you went.
They say that the normal teenage male averages one thought about sex every 17 seconds; I know I’m getting old because sometimes I go 45 seconds or even a minute between such thoughts.
TAGS: aging, sex, old, teensThe gym attendant perkily asked my name and shook my hand and said, “Hi, I’m Miffy, it’s nice to put a name to your face as I’ve seen you on the way to work most mornings, you’re quite often asleep like me, and, wow, I’ve been seeing you on the train since I was 23 and I’m 31 now!”
TAGS: aging, gobsmack, perkyWhat did you with my body?!
She spoke of being older, she said it was time to write about what it had all meant, her hands trembled slightly as she made the coffee, yet she clambered over boulders to bring you lemons from her garden, and hugging her goodbye felt like trying to hold a rose in your arms.
“And now class, let’s give our special attention to Timmy’s father, who has been kind enough to come in today and talk to us about growing old, bald and fat.”
TAGS: aging, school, bald, timmy, fatJim, having read the latest study which proved that every minute spent walking adds one minute to your life, experienced a great epiphany about this fountain of youth, got up off the couch, tied on his sneakers and headed down the street, feeling good, feeling strong, hearing the chirp of the birds, smiling at the first tulips of spring, his step light and full of hope; he never saw the bus.
TAGS: death, aging, fate, couch, accidents, epiphany, youth, walking, longevityYou will turn 40.
TAGS: aging, fortune, 40I’m never going to fall out of love with those lines around my eyes that I can feel wrinkling up when I smile.
TAGS: aging, joy, smiling, wrinkles, crinklesNow, because of those beautiful crinkly eyes, I have to find ways every damn day to make myself smile right up around the eyes for the rest of my damn life.
TAGS: aging, life, wrinkles, laughter
“When that day comes, I suppose I’ll be one of those dirty old men, white-bearded like Whitman, poking around in the stacks of derelict libraries, caressing the spines, perusing the neglected volumes, and contemplating how his desire for books only increases with age.”
TAGS: guest scriner, books, aging, beauty, lust, bentonGod, I’m old.
TAGS: agingJust when I start hoping I’ll die of old age some day, a letter arrives to remind me that the cause will be banking complications.
TAGS: hope, death, aging, complication, bankAs another year of life came to completion, boot stood at her front gate and forlornly waved her ‘age with an 8 in it’ farewell.
TAGS: aging, fixations, forlornI’m counting the greys, two-three-four-five, I’m feeling my age, glad to be alive.
TAGS: aging, homageSome days, I swear I can feel the wrinkles forming.
TAGS: aging, wrinkles, dry, sucking“I must be getting old,” Henry said outloud as he wiped the Cheeto crumbs from the corners of his mouth just as his dad used to do.
TAGS: Henry, food, aging, crumbs, dad, mouthOnce he realized that resting on his laurels was no longer an option, that everyone in the nursery home either didn’t care or simply couldn’t remember what he’d made of his life, Martin knew he’d wasted his time, and that if there was any hope left of squeezing in just a little bit of fun before the end, it somehow involved the patting and pinching of the new nurse’s butt.
TAGS: aging, time, butt, dirty old manI find it easy not to think about gravity, although from what I saw in the mirror this morning, I’m still heavy on its mind.
TAGS: aging, gravity, mirrorAs the old man and I stood watching the deer in the meadow nibble on whatever it is that deer nibble, he muttered, almost imperceptibly, “Deer today [takes long hard pull off of a bottle of sweet pain-canceling whisky], gone tomorrow”.
TAGS: deer, aging, observations, puns, whiskey