Maybe it was the idea of so many different takes on the afterlife, just blowing past me one after another, like the way small Iowa farm towns used to blow past my uncle and that chicken.
TAGS: afterlife, farms, iowaJohn was surprised to learn that Heaven had only one duck, but even more surprised when the duck waddled over and introduced himself as God.
TAGS: ducks, afterlife, heaven, godIf there is any hope of knowing what’s on the other side, I’ve decided that I better find some time to walk both paths, both honesty and lying, both less traveled and more traveled, so that when I do eventually stumble out onto the other side and get to wherever it is I’m going, I’ll recognize truth for what it really is, and that it won’t sneak up on me during some desperate moment and end up looking like an outhouse in the middle of nowhere, with a crescent moon on the door and a fresh roll of toilet paper stuck on a nail; and that when it’s all over yet again and again and again, I won’t be caught standing there lost, hopeful for something better then my own shit staring back at me.
TAGS: hope, afterlife, contemplation, lies, truth, honestyHenry’s defense to the charges—which would result in death by decapitation if he was found guilty—were primarily a plea for clemency because he would have no place to hang his many hats in the afterlife and besides, he had recently gotten a haircut that he liked very much.
TAGS: Henry, hats, death, afterlife, guilt, haircut, decapitationIt is a little known fact that among the angels in heaven there is an ironclad hierarchy defined by your death—with death by falling piano the extreme top of the pecking order and death by banking complications establishing the other end of the spectrum
TAGS: afterlife, angels, banking, complication, heaven, piano, hierarchyDr. Leo believed that tornadoes were largely the result of indecisive souls going round and round, and that if all the pre-death turmoil of organized religion could be done away with, things would be much calmer.
TAGS: death, afterlife, dr. leo, religion, tornadoes, souls, bible beltIf one assumes that 42 is the answer, and that stories of creationism are correct, and that God rested on the 7th day, working only the first six, this would go a long way (6 x 7 = 42) to helping prove my theory that God’s watch tracks time in dog years.
TAGS: afterlife, dog years