Scrine

Cat Taxes

2010-03-16T15:28:59Z

You’ll need your 1092-A “catbox is full” form as well as the 1087-B “feed me chicken” printout.

I’ll miss you, Ben

2010-03-16T15:08:37Z

Juan awoke with a start and the fistful of hundred dollar bills evaporated.

package

2010-03-16T15:03:34Z

Mike liked to parade around in his bikini underwear as if his package was pretty special, which his wife found exceedingly pathetic, since she knew it didn’t work.

something to mark the occassion?

2010-03-15T23:03:06Z

His hands shook, and sweat beaded on his brow to slide agonizingly slow down his temple, his cheek - it was because of him that Julius had remained undaunted, it was because of him that this friend, this man he loved was here at the Senate, rumors that had been turned down, lies that had been told… it was because of him that Julius’ eyes were fixed on his in solemn resignation, waiting only the inevitable… gripping the knife tight, Marcus steeled himself for what must be done.

Screech! Crash! Screech!

2010-03-15T22:45:44Z

The hit and run on a parked car in my neighborhood produced a mob; instead of pitchforks and torches there were kids on scooters and a festive holiday atmosphere.

Thank you St. Patty: Guest Scriner: Littlest ‘mousette

2010-03-15T18:47:33Z

“I can’t wait for lunch tomorrow so I can have a corned beef sandwich.”

Curse-ive

2010-03-15T16:51:57Z

They say that kids these days are no longer learning to read and write in cursive; pissing our names in the snow may soon be a lost art.

dark

2010-03-15T15:46:46Z

Putting eco-friendly timer-lightswitches in the office bathrooms seems like a good idea until it’s you sitting there along in the dark with your pants around your knees.

wet

2010-03-15T15:22:15Z

In any gathering of St. Bernard owners, he whose pants are without dog slobber is the pretender.

haunted

2010-03-15T15:11:33Z

I am haunted by the ghost of John Mayer.

Keep it Dirty

2010-03-15T15:08:03Z

If nature abhors a vacuum, who am I to disgust nature by cleaning?

Betrayed! (and cold)

2010-03-15T14:24:47Z

Despite its clock having been gently sprung forward for daylight savings time, Juan’s furnace refused its duty of turning on ten minutes before he was to get out of bed.

we weren’t convinced

2010-03-14T21:33:53Z

“Why, sure it does, ” he insisted; “Mud rhymes with fun, so that’s what we’re having and covered in.”

My Friend

2010-03-14T19:34:43Z

Being with him is like hurtling through space without a net; it’s kind of fun.

Cursory

2010-03-14T08:52:36Z

“Lets go out,” they said, followed by a cursory “you’ll have fun.”