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reality check :: heather :: 14

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With the harsh light of day streaming through the window, she gazed upon her countenance in the mirror. Turning slowly, she saw the rippled flesh of her thighs, two great dimpled mounds of buttock, the jagged stretchmarks across her hanging belly, and the pale sag of her upper arms. As she took in the sight of her naked body, she thought, “Good GOD, but I’ve got knobby knees.”

January 23, 2007 at 8:02 PM ::

Oh how I do hate reprimanding the new recruits, but it’s a job that must be done now, isn’t it?

Heather, do you recall the one single Scrine rule? And no, it’s not “wait thirty minutes after eating before entering the water.”

One sentence per post*, my dear.

*NOT an old wives tale

Keith on 01/24/07 at 09:22 AM ::

However, I rush to point out - as one of the most blatant offenders - there are no rules against semicolon abuse, creative use of elipses, and barely gramatical comma, comma, comma play to one’s heart’s content.

Oh, and no sentence limits in comments, just in scrine-posts themselves.

'mouse on 01/24/07 at 09:30 AM ::

mea culpa.....I didn’t know

heather on 01/24/07 at 10:33 AM ::

You’re in luck then, because unlike a true court of law, pleading ignorance works every time around here.

Matter of fact, it may even be one of the many unstated rules. I plead ignorance on an hourly basis, just to be safe.

Keith on 01/24/07 at 11:06 AM ::

‘mouse’s advice reminds me: When are we going to have another 500-word sentence contest? I’m in the mood to Faulknerize. :)

(Heather, honey, no mea culpas are necessary. We play fast and loose, we write fast and loose, and we drink like men. Or something like that.)

bakerina on 01/24/07 at 11:50 AM ::

I’m all for a new 500-word sentence contest. Should the number be an exact target or a minimum? Also, I propose that this time each entry be required to include at least three words you think (most of) your fellow scriners will need to look up.

Bakerina, how ‘bout if you make the final rules and kick us off? (But you better hurry, ‘cuz I’m itching to type too.

'mouse on 01/24/07 at 12:21 PM ::

I think you all may be missing the most important thing of all...knobby knees. Knobby knees are excellent for cracking walnuts and shucking oysters. They also look rather fetching with band-aids on them.

Br. Ezra on 01/24/07 at 01:33 PM ::

Five hundred! Let’s go! Go go go! But you can’t use the words but, and, because, when or while. Heh. Only kidding.

Jo on 01/24/07 at 02:43 PM ::

Oy. During lunch I started prodding some ideas and realized I’m out of practice—at 250 words I was sweating heavily and breathing like a hard-ridden horse. I will persevere. I sure wish I knew what Bake’s rules are gonna be.

'mouse on 01/24/07 at 03:17 PM ::

I’m almost sure “sweat heavily and breathe like a hard-ridden horse” will be part of the rules.

Keith on 01/24/07 at 03:35 PM ::

Hold on—how did I become the Pope of Ruletown here?

Okay, okay. 500 words, minimum. No maximum, but no bonus points for longer sentences, either—we want sentences to be correct in both form and content. Colons, semicolons, comma comma comma play, ellipses and dashes are all acceptable. Endlessly repeated single words (i.e. “dorky dorky dorky dorky!”, a la Kotzwinkle) are verboten. Magical punctuation (i.e. “ZOUNDS!--------!----------!”, a la Laurence Sterne) is similarly verboten. I recuse myself from judging or establishing deadlines, but will gladly donate prizes.

That’s it. Stir it up, little darlings, stir it up.

Edit: Oh, yes. Sweating heavily and breathing like a hard-ridden horse are both mandatory.

bakerina on 01/24/07 at 03:36 PM ::

Give me a bit to get started.....I am still fixated on hard drinking, heavy breathing, and sweating......Good thing I am going to see my boyfriend this weekend!

heather on 01/24/07 at 05:27 PM ::

wave the pale sag of an upper arm for me.

e on 01/24/07 at 07:13 PM ::

When I find one, I’ll be glad to (I’ve been working out, baby!!!)

heather on 01/24/07 at 07:35 PM ::

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