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One of the Few Things That Could Make Me Happy I Didn’t Pursue a Career in Publishing :: Bunni :: 12
TAGS: apothecary, erotica, literature, shakespeare, thong
STASHED BY:
Keith
Bunni
While I was trying not to grind my teeth into powder as I read the pathetic excuses my students call resumes, I noticed the girl next to me was reading an “urban erotic” novel (I didn’t even know this was a genre until I read the back bookflap) entitled “Thong on Fire” with the blurb on the front proclaiming “If you get thrown in the snake pit, you better learn how to wriggle!”
February 25, 2008 at 9:58 AM ::
Oh, Bunni, how can you dis that? It’s surely the modern equivalent of Shakespeare.
'mouse on 02/25/08 at 10:17 AM ::
Eat too, Brute!
Keith on 02/25/08 at 10:41 AM ::
That’s so extraordinarily awful that it makes me desperately want to read it. I mean, seriously. ‘Thong on Fire’? ‘...snake pit’? ‘....wriggle’?! If I could develop some sort of Mystery Science Theater 3000 for ‘literature’, this would totally be my inaugural book.
You can call me, 'Sir' on 02/25/08 at 10:53 AM ::
Poor, poor urban erotica Shakespeare:
1. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
2. To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Creeps all up this pretty face. . .
3. He’s but a walking shadow, a poor layer, That sluts and frets his hour upon the bed, And then is hard no more.
4. Blow, blow, thou winter wench
5. O happy dagger!
6. Done to death by slaverous tongue was the hero that here lies
7. 36B, or 36D, that is the question
Keith on 02/25/08 at 10:54 AM ::
Oh, nice, Keith.
‘Frailty, thy name is beeyotch!’
‘O, That this too too solid flesh would melt,
Thaw, and resolve itself into a flaccid love hammer.’
You can call me, 'Sir' on 02/25/08 at 11:01 AM ::
heh heh, these are fun....
Shakespearian medical disclaimer:
Anyone experiencing too too solid flesh for more than 4 hours should consult an apothecary.
Keith on 02/25/08 at 11:09 AM ::
It amuses me that this sentence is tagged for “apothecary” “Shakespeare” and “thong.” I never knew you could even get all those elements into a single sentence.
Bunni on 02/25/08 at 12:45 PM ::
Yes, of course. All of those things can be found in my stash of hoarded goodies.
Keith on 02/25/08 at 12:48 PM ::
I keep laughing about the use of beeyotch in reference to Shakespeare. Thanks for laugh, ‘Sir’.
Keith on 02/25/08 at 12:50 PM ::
Keith: 36B, or 36D, that is the question
A stand-up comedian used to do a bit as an incredibly drunk guy trying to open the door to his apartment. Once they keys were out, he would mime confusion looking at the two doors and then say “2B or not 2B, which is my apartment?”
Heh.
Bunni on 02/25/08 at 12:52 PM ::
Well, I’m here to entertain. And to blow off steam. And because it’s part of my probation.
You can call me, 'Sir' on 02/25/08 at 01:49 PM ::
Probation? Damn that judge! Where are my kickbacks?
Keith on 02/25/08 at 02:04 PM ::