Dear Urinal #1 User: If my puppy piddled on the floor the way you do, I’d smack it on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
Dude! I am so glad that I don’t work where you do. Once upon a time I worked in a place where we had a phantom urinator who seemed to pee directly on the floor without even bothering to hit the urinal. We had a yellow lake on the linoleum floor. It was nasty!