Captain Goldstein called off the raid on the Jewish deli after learning that 79% of all Jewish people have agreed to pretend that Bac-O-Bits are kosher.
Yeesh. I posted this before Googling and it turns out there is not only kosher fake-bacon out there but even vegan fake-bacon.
Seems to me there ought to be a special place in purgatory for people who eat fake versions of what they’re not supposed to eat.
I think Jesus said it best while mopping up the bathroom floor one day, “Let he who has not eaten with plastic silverware cast the first stone.”