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    TAGS: albatross, god-forsaken, parrot, pirates, sharks

Once upon a time—all good stories begin once upon a time—there was famous Captain Keith Blackheart who ran a tight ship on which only one language was allowed, pirate, and anyone who dared call his pet scrinebird a god-forsaken parrot, or, heaven forbid an albatross would be keelhauld and then fed to the sharks.