What we had was great but I’d rather sleep with Marie Osmond!
Dear Br. Ezra,
If she’s anything like her brother was, you shouldn’t waste your time.
Anne
My Dearest Anne:
Perhaps I was a bit too hasty. She keeps passing out on me. Did you have this trouble with Donny?
Br. Ezra
Dr. Br. Ezra,
No, but I wish I had. Staring at Donny Osmond’s face is one thing, but staring at Donny Osmond’s smiling face and big white teeth while having unsatisfactory sex with him is quite another.
Anne
Dear Br. Ezra,
Why are you messing around with skinny, acerbic neo-cons and uptight Mormons? I can give you what you need. Call me sometime.
Love Phoebe
How come I never get offers like this?
You world-domination cult-figures get all the girls.
(sigh)
It must be the smell of power! I have nothing else to offer except a mean tuna casserole