Gertrude gazed in wonder at the pompous condescending clerk as she corrected Gerties assumptions, “Gertrude? No, no, no… we don’t use names here! It’s all too personal, we give you a number, it’s more equitable that way. To save time we also assume you are stupid and don’t actually want a job. Is there anything else you don’t understand?”.
You know that feeling you get when you rev your engine several times and get ready to blow everyone away off the line and then you pop the clutch and there’s an awful “thump” as your transmission falls out on the ground?
Paul didn’t mind being carried off by the giant eagle, not one bit, although the talons did dig in a little more than he’d thought they would when he’d first come up with the plan.
Instead of going outside to look at the moon which is the same moon my distant lover is mooning over, nowadays we both tune to Scrinecast and feel all warm and connected in our shared moment.
Like the flyer states, I always believed that the true beauty of Pong was in its “Low Key Cabinet, Suitable for Sophisticated Locations.”
There is no random, just streams and eddy’s carrying us afar, and if one looks about us, they’ll see we’re all just stars.
“A trained monkey could have gotten these documents to me by now,” she explained to the banker, “and he would have made fewer excuses.”
“Just a few scratches on the boy,” the doctor reassured Timmy’s mother, “nothing serious at all; but you might want to have his eyes examined, because he really should have seen that tortoise coming.”
Being the earliest to check in for surgery doesn’t mean you’ll be out sooner, I realized; it just means the surgery will take longer.
The road seemed to melt in the distance, but as she approached the mirage it seemed that her rhinoceros was slowing down, his feet apparently sticking in the polka dot tar, while the lights that had marked the side of the road peeled away and floated into the air ahead of her, eventually coalescing into the shape of a young girl; “hello”, laughed Becky.
It appears that the AOL-can’t-post-problem has been resolved (assuming you see this).
Keith hoped to take home the big prize, and knew that it would all depend on the help of all his imaginary friends.
Goddamn, nothing like sleeping in your own bed.
change is bad, always, in every case, without exception, just in general.
Not wanting to prematurely panic, grudknows saw the evil writings on the walls of scrine and muttered, ‘You can’t trick me this time’ as she logged out - only to find that they did, they could, they had and that sometimes when you think they’re out to get you… they are.
When I woke this morning it was the sentence that awoke me.
I’m back, I’m exhausted, my cat did not recognize me at first, and I’m addled on medication, but by damn I’m BACK and it feels excellent.
At first it was difficult to perceive the dreaming, to notice the swirling shadows come live beyond my veiled eyes, becoming easier as they took form and motion, coalescing singular creatures of mind and shade.
Vwell, Mr Zoundweogo, vyour test rezults have come in and it does indeed appear that you are a wampire.
Despite the clues strewn carelessly about, Gertrude remained oblivious, studying her fingernails, wondering whether they’d look better in purple or green.
So I didn’t get $9.6 million for my trouble, but I’m infinitely richer for looking up Burkina Faso and learning it used to be Upper Volta, it is home to 13,925,313 souls (not one of whom have I ever met) and its 45 provinces are Bale, Bam, Banwa, Bazega, Bougouriba, Boulgou, Boulkiemde, Comoe, Ganzourgou, Gnagna, Gourma, Houet, Ioba, Kadiogo, Kenedougou, Komondjari, Kompienga, Kossi, Koulpelogo, Kouritenga, Kourweogo, Leraba, Loroum, Mouhoun, Namentenga, Nahouri, Nayala, Noumbiel, Oubritenga, Oudalan, Passore, Poni, Sanguie, Sanmatenga, Seno, Sissili, Soum, Sourou, Tapoa, Tuy, Yagha, Yatenga, Ziro, Zondoma, Zoundweogo.
“a crusty irascible cantankerous old person full of stubborn ideas “
How come live preview works here but not there?
Is it someone who writes, perhaps for many years, but only, in the main, for themselves, is it somone who is published on paper or who is known as an author, is it someone who shares everything in their heart in aching detail through the minute-by-minute amazement that is the internet; can it be any number of these things and others, and could it even actually be me?
As far as I’m concerned she can just go and be a cow in a horse universe.
If I wonder while I wander will I wonder where I wandered?
Taken affright,
A gallant knight,
In sunshine and shadow,
Fled for home,
Broken, alone,
Defeated by Eldorado.
Gertrude wistfully wondered where all the crazy folks who used to rock up, armed with ingredients, and cook for her in her own home had disappeared; thinking perhaps, that some sneaky alternate dimension had plotted until they found a way to suck these wonderful, but hard to find souls, into their own world to eat them.
Oh… St Patricks Day is one of the *best* days of the year… often commencing with a hearty Irish brekky … somewhere, followed by much indulgence in Guinness and the joyous, well, some may debate this description, sounds of bagpipes and participation or viewing of Irish Dancing.
I have this horrible feeling that humour was only invented very shortly after some tribal caveman was accidentally hit in the face with a rough hewn plate of creamy, muddy supper goo.
When inviting someone to an event, don’t say “turn up anytime” unless you really mean ‘turn up anytime’.
“I don’t know, Frank” muttered the sergeant as he removed the headphones from the catatonic girl’s ears, “all my years with the force and I’ve never seen one woman kill so many people and with such messy force”.
The doves of ambiguity fluterred excitedy, squawking and pooping in their amazement at what they could see; Becky pressed her arms through their flurried mass to separate them so she too could see the view of the beautiful and creative princess in her tower of ups and downs.
Now that I’m back, I realise how much I missed myself; hopefully, I can manage to stick around for awhile.
That was when I realized what I was really seeing out that window: Boot had finally released the Doves of Ambiguity, and they had all flocked to the tree sheltering the smoking area out by the emergency room, which has been my view from the hospital for two weeks now.
My guess is that the very first laugher on this planet received an immediate blow to the head from someone wielding a large stone, killing him or her instantly (an unfortunate thing, really), since this prevented them from joining in on the celebration of thinking they’d all just invented irony, which they hadn’t, of course, since the moment the entire group broke into this new thing called laughter, a mastodon or woolly mammoth or some such beast heard the new noise and came crashing into the clearing, stomping everyone to death, except of course, the first dead laugher, who couldn’t run away, which really is sort of ironic, but certainly not very funny.
All 6’1” of me can stretch out quite comfortably along the length of just one of the giant’s bed pillows, and one of their bath towels is more than enough blanket, even on the coldest of nights.
The building smelt like an army kitchen at breakfast time.
The inventor of sarcasm was a very frustrated person until the idea began to catch on.
The very first time something or someone laughed on this planet, who do you think was more surprised: the laugher, or the somethings or someones nearby?
I sometimes wonder when drawings of stick men first started making people laugh.
Becky decided that it wasn’t time to release the doves of ambiguity just yet.
Understatement: a bit hard to be pumped up like this and then be limited to two hallways and a bed.
I like spending the night at the giant’s house, mainly because in the morning the coffee cups are so big.
I consider my self a pretty good houseguest, but I draw the line at drinking my morning coffee from 6oz teacups.
this was ok, pretty even, until the mechanics contracted for the big breasted mermaid. 
After hearing the actress confess to being an alcoholic, I couldn’t help from imagining her bent over a red wine stain on the white shag rug crying, “Out, damned spot! out, I say!”
”Ms Mitchelson faced 12 counts of professional misconduct, including drawing a smiley face on a patient’s hernia.”
That time, once, long ago, you remember, you were there, I was here, it was beautiful, sunset highlighting our faces, the salt spray filling the air, it was… you were… I was… we became… lightning strikes… a storm rises… passion bridged… truth!
“My daughter is a stoner!” exclaimed Lori, upon hearing the good news that her daughter had been accepted into the prestigious Stepping Stones Preschool.
“I would never starve myself to death,” Bob told the counselor, “but I wouldn’t mind starving down to a even 250.”
“But I don’t even like eating babies”, interjected the Walrus, partly to abate the young girl’s crying, but mostly because he really *didn’t*.
When asked by the punk what he thought about all the piercings he saw on kids these days, I heard the old man say, “There ain’t nothing new about piercing that I know of; I’ve been pierced myself, twice in fact: first time by a bit of shrapnel, World War II, and then again a second time - .22, jealous husband.”
He turned south just outside of Sacramento, set the cruise control at 83 (mph), leaned back against the comfortable sheepskin seat cover, and settled in to watch California’s beautiful Central Valley scroll by hour after hour as he headed for the City of Angels.
“I have a friend with a timewarp, and he’s transported me back to junior high,” Snow mumbled when her boss asked her what the hell she was listening to.
“Ha!” I said to the humorless, somewhat jumpy doctor as I glanced at a label on one of the drawers that said Alligator Forceps, “this must be where the alligators give birth!”
“If you’re going to stop a band playing every time someone has an accident, you’ll lead a very strenuous life.”
just a touch on his shoulder was enough to say paragraphs: in the car he gloated with pride, ‘see, i can get it when we’re in the same room together, but i can’t get it over the phone lines’.
After sitting patiently for aeons, his eyes resting on the same subtly changing piece of earth, he was picked up and suddenly, just for a moment or two, there was movement and colour and boggling eyes, until finally there was nothing.
Damnit damnit I’m getting a rash which means I’ll have to be here for a million years longer and possibly start a different medication…
She looked at her fingers in a sad and disappointed sort of way and turned around to point her ear at the closest passerby, who promptly melted into a butterscotch rollerskate - “much better” thought Becky.
Gertrude, having read an email from an aquaintance, thought affectionately, ‘I love him! I love his brain.’, then ventured on to think, ‘Same reason I loved Mr X, really. Well… that… and his butt.’ and snickered to herself in joy at the memories conjured up by that thought.
Gertrude looked in utter horror at the man on the beach who not only was wearing speedos but also had a mullet and was wearing knee high pull-on ugg boots.
Boot zoomed around the room, flapping her wings madly, leaping from chair to chair and singing the “I love coffee” song.
I don’t really have anything to say, so I thought I’d say nothing in a lot of words.
I wonder if the guy whistling tunelessly for hours on end, across the road from my office, knows how lucky he really is that I don’t have access to a blowtorch.
I’ve been away for a week and a day, but my mind has returned and has something to say…
“I don’t know, I thought, maybe… Maybe if I wrote something really good… Someone might turn it into a novel”, he mumbled, staring at his feet.
Jeffrey never had much luck with the ladies, and was known mostly for his stumbling abiliity to “incorrectly employ every punctuative device available”, both in and out of the bedroom.
I wrote so many sentences in my notebook on the way into work this morning that I couldn’t decide what to post, so I did this instead.
“So we throw grammar, lexical correctness, logic, caution and our sense of adventure to the wind, maul our language with the savageness of a disruptive schoolchild in a french lesson, and incorrectly employ every punctuative device available to us (and even a few that aren’t), in an attempt to fit what amounts to an entire _novella_ into a single sentence; arguing, of course, in at least one case that ellipses (that being a construction of three consecutive periods, namely ‘…’) are in fact something entirely different to the afore-mentioned sentence terminator, and are thus completely legal in the construction of a scrine: the legal fineprint defining a scrine as a single sentence (in an ideal world, that is) - a single sentence in _English_ (or presumably another language (do any languages exist which *don’t* employ any form of punctuation, running-on ad infinitum (or even ad nauseum, if you’re not quite sick of this dribbling diatribe by now (not to mention the rampant bracketing(!))))), and not, I repeat, NOT in a programming language (C++ springs to mind), which is patently curious, as at least one of the above examples appears to use semicolons to separate individual statements in an attempt to flaunt the rules - not that I wish to appear the gammar nazi (eep, the appearance of *that* word probably just canned it), but perhaps a character limit on the length of each post might better suffice in enforcing a sense of brevity in the authorship; I mean, what on earth happened to the fine art of eloquent succintness?”, he rambled, adding after a minute’s thought: “That, by the way, is a joke, not a crtiicism.”
It’s not fog that comes on little cat feet; it’s Death.
i knew i had done a good job, there was no question in my mind, but I also knew that he would have to say something negative about it to make himself feel good….that is just how it is.
“No, this here’s just a regular ‘ol watch,” the man said, staring down at his wrist through watery eyes while he tapped at the glass with an old, yellowed finger, “but I had me one of those there love watches once, always lookin’ down at it, those hands spinnin’ every which way ‘til you didn’t know if you was comin’ or goin’, waitin’ on that girl thinkin’ you was goin’ bust, but not carin’ one way or the other you’re so happy; yeah, I had me one, back in my day, just like you kid, but it’s broke now, just plain broke and that’s all there is to it.”
it’s the process that gets me high and the product that makes me cringe: like the pie that turned watery, the bread that went flat, the mashed potatoes that stayed lumpy; i prefer to walk in the present, free and easy, without dragging the little red wagon of the past behind me- which is why i’m done blogging, (i know, i’ve said it before, but this time it aches so much that even i know it’s true) though, until Keith stops serving me drinks and tells me I have to go home- I’ll never finish scrining.
I step out of the office for a quick coffee only to find that time has warped, making a minute seem like a pleasurable hour and making three hours only seem like one.
One minute I’m hoping from foot to foot needing a perpetual state of movement and the next I’m feeling lethargic and can’t stop yawning.
“You’re sh**ing me. They’re kicking in his door, armed with blowtorches, and he spends the last 30 seconds of his life calling you to rant about a relationship that ended fourteen years ago?”
Jezebel shrugged. “I guess he felt he needed to get it off his chest”.
Even small dinosaurs can learn new skills, thought Rodenta Paleolithica as he put on his headphones and placed a Skype call to China.
Life… is like a grapefruit. It’s orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.
I ran headlong through the door, fearing the hideous visage that could have only been the result of a savage beating with an ugly stick.
By the age of 12, Peter was well-ahead of his peers when it came to finding dead bodies (most hadn’t found any, or even seen one, for that matter): two by the age of five, another (an old uncle who fell off a ladder and broke his neck) by the time he was seven, three more (the Anderson Murders) during his sixth grade year in elementary, then later that same year the half a dozen teenagers who were burned in a car wreck along the edge of town, which had brought the number of dead bodies Peter had discovered to the alarmingly, unnaturally high number of twelve, an even dozen, but even then no one really seemed to think much of it (other then the newspapers which labeled Peter as “The Dead Boy” and “Dead Peter”, which the kids at school quickly shortened to “Deter”), and the whole thing might have simply disappeared somehow, the way that even amazing and unbelievable and remarkable things can disappear without so much as a second glance, forgotten by the rest of the world as it moves on to the next amazing and unbelievable thing (because really, there seems to be no end to them), if it hadn’t been for Peter’s discovery of yet his thirteenth and fourteenth dead bodies, this time his own parents, and this time, one of them not quite dead, and who after two and a half weeks in a coma, awakened, and was able to weakly point a scared and shaking finger at her own son, who simply sat quietly in a chair across the room, thankful that it was finally over.
replaced by the contentedness of routine: i go about each day, much the same as the last, and know that i am lucky for it, the unchangeable certainty is what keeps me sane.
“I have hot chocolate knickers so you may as well put me in a sex shop and stick me in the window!”
“Two Americans! Two!”, she said waving her arms around excitedly before shoving her hands forcefully into the pockets of the second-hand jeans she was wearing to discover a dirty snotty tissue generously left by the last owner.
As Spike walked in the house, carefully carrying a box the realisation hit - “Ahhhhhhh - a girl bunny”, I muttered as I followed him through the house to observe my own bunny, Oscar (who has never met another of his kind), look suspiciously at the thing that moved in such a similar way; the cat, of course, had no issues with curiosity and walked up, gave Pixie a sniff and then commenced to clean her head with his tongue.
She shuddered involuntarily, and stuffed the piece of paper back into his wallet. What kind of a man walked around carrying the word “failure” like a business card?
Mangoes, raspberries, yoghurt and honey.
What I want is what I once had.
“Forget that robot nonsense,” Steve’s father said to his son, “because the real money’s gonna be in bag salad, life’s best pre-packaged convenience; that’s what the people want and that’s what they’ll pay for, not for some fool robot idea.”
As gertrude looked around her house the next day she thought, “Not so bad… a bit of picking up and vacuuming and it’ll all be fine” but that was before she went into the bathroom which was muddied by dirty footprints leading to a pair of torn black jocks discarded in the shower recess.
Harlan found he almost enjoyed the adrenalin, the deep mourning and the release that came with waking from fires, car crashes, avalanches, and last night, a staggeringly huge tidal wave that took away his family and millions of other people while he survived clinging to a standpipe on the side of a brick schoolhouse on high ground.
“It’s the restlessness that gets to me,” the ghost said, swirling around the jar so fast that I couldn’t help but think that it was the motion, rather than the ghost itself that was speaking to me, “ because it never goes away, never leaves you be, reminding you of all that space between here and there, the thought of somehow measuring a lifetime of places you’ve been against all the those places you think you’d like to be, or worse yet, the places you know you’ll never reach, and all of them, every single one, working together to fuel that restlessness that will eventually numb you to everything, pushing and pulling at you until even the things you once knew for certain begin to fade, like the way the pain of some sharp rocks beneath your bare feet as you walk along a lake shore will slowly become replaced with the memory of the waves, as they lapped up against your calves, one memory pushing out another until there is nothing left but the idea of that pain that was once so real, so intense that you were foolish enough to think it wouldn’t end, which of course, it always does, disappearing forever as one thing, then reappearing as another, and that, my friend, is the restlessness that stays with you for all eternity.”
I really like cardboard.
It might just have been the sky-writers messing with his head, it may be that what they were trying to write was just ROOM TO RENT, but he hoped that the letters that burned in the twilight sky were actually a message of love.
So, is it just me or do you too have people walk up to you holding a crystal ball and say, “The crystal ball says whatever you find today will bring luck.”, nope - it’s just me isn’t it?
Shored up by the heady and powerful scents of spices such as cardamon, fenugreek, carraway, aniseed, cinnamon, cloves, coriander, cumin and anise stars, she decided things weren’t so bad after all and sat down for a cup of coffee while she waited for the cheese to drain and the biscuits to bake.
Tammy stood amidst the ruins of her handbag (filled with shampoo), skirt (stained with colour booster shampoo), shoes (stained with coffee), notebooks, calculator, and reports (floating in their very own coffee lake), and kitchen cupboard shelves (coated with an explosion of val daal) and decided that staying in bed all week might have been the best plan after all.
“Because it’s time for a road trip,” she declared, gunning the engine.
The twisted, gibbering results of their labors rarely see the light of day; rather, they are jammed into row upon row of squat metal cages, where for a shiny ten-cent piece, small children are permitted a quick glimpse that will scar their brain-pans for life.
“A beautiful day in San Francisco is the most beautiful day on earth.”
Later, at the hospital, Steve ended up in even deeper hot water when his wife mumbled, through her swollen and distorted lips and face, “Honey, how’s it look?”, and he foolishly answered without thinking.
that ‘vibrate me anytime’ may be the most romantic thing i’ve ever said.
I did my part, planning and cooking a romantic dinner—how could I know she was severely allergic to mushrooms, or that pureeing them into a soup made them so hard to spot?
Funny, sometimes, that romance is just another one of those somethings that begins with imagination.
After not practicing the piano for many months, she sat down and began to try to play and, blissfully, she was not overwhelmed by the woman’s memory, just filled with it; filled with love, uplifted by her grace and blessed by her memory.
There aren’t enough roads for all the endless driving I feel like doing - not even close.
Sleep comes hard, the dreams are crazy and coffee is the breath of life that helps me through each day.
run around, gotta get up at 4 am, gotta get on the plane tomorrow so where is the usb cable and why doesn’t it work anyway, i’ll just have to go out again and get another one, which i should have done when i picked up the printer, which i decided to do because i didn’t have time to print out all the things i wanted to show and then i realized that the printing itself would be an activity and i should just bring it along, but not if it doesn’t work with the dual cable i have, even though the guy said i didn’t need one, that there was a pull-out one on there already, but it turns out that’s a mini one meant for the camera, i guess, not for the computer so here i’ll have to go out again soon because what if it isn’t the cable after all but something wrong with the printer, which i can’t tell maybe because i can’t get the tablet to connect to the network so i’m gonna have to throw myself on some geek’s mercy when i get there, and i really wanted to go to bed early and yet here i am running around instead of knitting up a swatch for gwendowmamma’s knitting lesson example, but all i really have to do is pack up the suitcase and make sure the printer works, right, and then i can calm down some, as i already got the cans of cafe du monde coffee to take to woolfcamp and the plane doesn’t even leave for just under 12 hours, after i stop off at the airport post office to mail the bills—i’ve gotta write the checks for the bills first, before i go out for the cable—and then stash the car and then a 7 hour ride during which i can finish the sock and then grace will be there to scoop me up in my old hometown and then i can rest, maybe they have cables at walgreens, did i eat today?
As I flung a handful at the crowd (’twas chunky), I thought, “It’s good - damn good - to be a monkey.”
O, please do not think me rude if I point out that the past tense of “scrine” is “screwed.”
It’s just wretched, isn’t it.
So far today I’ve only wanted kill my new boss once, so that’s nice.
Boot and grudknows continued to argue about who should put the guest posting on scrine, of course - it could have been an endless argument but grudknows finally gave in and didn’t post anything from the source at all.
Gertrude does a victory dance, which the gods choose to misinterpret, and it rains.
Three wasted hours, half a pad of paper, two aspirin, and a dead pen are the signals for my next task, which will leave me with twelve more wasted hours, a cryptic computer file, an empty aspirin bottle and a dead pen.
The crowd of commuters approached the turnstiles, tickets ready in hand, brains on automatic, and then the first one bounced back and swore, then the second, then another, until suddenly there were hundreds of bouncing humans attempting to go through to the gates of hell.
When the robots come and I’m the only one in town with a spray bottle of rust-inducing salt water holstered at his hip, well, mister, you won’t be laughing so hard then.
The words poured out of her as her brain twisted, cramped, and knotted with the spasms of her latest attack of logorrhea.
Through the corner of his eye he could see his cat, settled sphinx-like upon the Persian rug in the sunroom.
At least we know that Irony is not dead, thought Roger Rabbit as he read the New York Times headline, “3 More Die in Pakistan Cartoon Protests.”
a scrine without its captain is like a…a…pretty sad rusty bird.
When you add the three hours spent sitting in the plane, waiting for the mechanics to fix something that they eventually find out they can’t, to the one hour waiting for another available plane to fly you from Dallas to Portland, to the four hour flight and the eventual one hour drive home, Bob thought he’d be able to remember the Tacoma weather story that the woman sitting next to him on the plane had told him no less than five times during their many hours together, but fortunately, when Bob finally woke up the next morning in his own bed, he’d forgotten nearly everything.
Kate lay there, pinned to the bed, wanting to pee, wanting a drink of water, but unable to move because of the nightly crushing increase in the Earth’s gravity.
Her body was shaped like the curves of the landscape, she was made of filament and fibres, her wings were the complex beauty of any winged beast, her eyes made of the sunrise and the clouds, her hair was a halo of heaven and she was as insubstantial as the air.
If your dick is so small or your stomach is so large that you are not able to see and/or successfully aim at the urinal, then for god’s sake, sit down on the toilet to pee, it won’t make you less of a man, but it will make you less of a rude, disgusting asshole.
In signing on the dotted line, he had cut the last thread that kept his heart from falling into as many pieces as his grandmother had used in her quilts.
I vote we put the random scrine (see ‘mouse blog) on the main scrine page… somewhere, along with all that other stuff because it’s a joy to discover sentences you missed the first time around and to revisit those that you loved.
There are certain days of the year that make Miss Jane want to either go hunting or find a deep, dark hole to hide in.
if my husband had any sense, he’d leave the hardhat on when he comes home tonight.
When I look at the curve of her shoulder in the moonlight, the years fall away, and I am young again.
there i was….laying in bed, i could smell the coffee, and hear the bacon crackling, but i knew immediately that i was going to fall back asleep.
Each day life ponies up one thing in consolation; for mouse, it is a mango, a papaya, or a drink involving a blender; for some perhaps a perfectly aligned set of pens or a well-struck guitar chord; for me, it is deliciously cool rice pudding with cinnamon and raisins.
“Milk, honey and papaya create a drink that gives you hope in a world filled with bad news.”
If only those people back in the ice age knew what we knew today; they would have turned off all of their household applicances and it would have never happened.
It could be a factory line.
“A total of 26.9 inches fell in Central Park, the most since record-keeping began in 1869, the National Weather Service reported.”
“Well,” Henry’s wife said as the doctors and nurses went about their business, “if you had taken the toaster to a repairman the way I suggested, you wouldn’t be in this situation at all.”
And… even though he didn’t precede the sentence with Gertrudes name, he still looked meaningfully in her direction when he said, “and we need someone to…”.
As the afternoon wore on, Henry became more and more convinced that everyone else in the office had been replaced with a robot—and not even the good kind of robots, the ones that boost productivity and enjoy doing repetitive tasks: no, these robots were lazier than Henry’s human coworkers had been.
I’m thinking about ripping out the front lawn and planting purple cabbages every foot or so in rows, mulched in bright shiny white quartz rocks.
Waking up Sunday morning, the man remembered the rumor of the bagels—as big as a man’s head, the groom had said to him the night before—and hoped he hadn’t slept too long.
“But I’m talking about the deep, optimistic good-witch type of kindness […]”
The SCW pondered her life, deciding that perhaps the solution was to become a Carmelite Nun - not because she had any particular religious leanings (despite being raised according to her parent’s beliefs) - but because she was sick to death of hearing about every one else ‘getting a bit’ while she was stuck with DIY.
“I need to let the bunny out.”
He stopped at the door with the nagging realisation that he’d forgotten a key party item; “HURRY UP!” his friends yelled impatiently as they headed to the waiting cab; he shrugged and started out the door and as he did so his brain finally kicked into gear, ‘Ah!’ he thought in smugly relieved tones, ‘the megaphone!’.
Now that his shirt was ironed, the man fiddled with the technolog